Yes, that's right. The flu.
My family was taken down one by one in the last 7 days with some horrible virus that was doing it's best to kill me, or at the very least, make me crazy. It started with the husband on Sunday (I have since started referring to him as "The Monkey from Outbreak", aka TMFO). By Monday night I was sure something just wasn't "right". I ended up being home and out of commission from Tuesday until half-way through the day on Friday when my fever had been gone long enough for me to at least go to work and check emails and make sure they hadn't replaced me. Nora spiked a fever at my mom-in-laws on Friday afternoon and battled it over the next 48 hours.
It has been a long 7 days.
Since I just don't think it's possible to wax poetic about the flu, instead I give you my observations from being bed/couch/house bound for much too long:
1. My 80's crush on Rob Lowe is alive and well in 2011. The amount of Brothers and Sisters that I watched should embarrass me.
2. Being able to stream Netflix is the greatest invention EVER.
3. I am not good at staying still for long periods of time anymore. This used to be something I was a master at, and it seems to be a talent I have lost along the way. I found myself glaring at the dust bunnies underneath the entertainment center and willing them to pick themselves up. The dog and cat were no help.
4. My daughter is the sweetest, most empathetic little soul I have ever met. Her concern for both me and her father was heartbreaking.
5. My husband is much more patient with me when I am ill than me of him (mental note to work on this in the future).
6. I would not be the same kind of person or parent (hopefully a good one) than I am without my "village". My mother-in-law saved the day by picking N up from daycare one day and taking her home with her in the hopes she would not catch what we had, and to let us rest. My mother, who had been sick herself, babied me over the phone a couple times a day. My friends offered assistance and kept me entertained with emails and text messages. My neighbor practically chased me down with offers of ginger ale and running errands. These people take care of me in a way I only hope to be able to return.
7. I feel like a slug without exercise.
8. I am so grateful for my health. This was *just* the flu. I can't even fathom what it's like for those brave families who battle deadly diseases and debilitating chronic illnesses each day. We are so lucky (mental note to remind myself of this much more often).
9. I LIKE all the juggling we do on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. I have talked a lot about balance here, and how hard that can be sometimes. And yes, it surely is, but we do it for a reason. Just a week without Punk Rope, meet-ups with friends, work, yoga with other parents, and visiting family members made me feel SO DULL. I like the stimulation of all that we love to do as a family and as individuals. I missed the balancing act and I am looking forward to life getting back to it's normal state of chaos this week.
In other news: we have decided to join a CSA/Farm Share. This makes me giddy and it does deserve it's own post when things are all said and done. And now that I am on the mend, it's time to start putting together a plan for 10K training. Oh boy. Stay tuned!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
*Gulp*
This morning at 7 AM (after starting a load of laundry, packing my lunch for work, feeding the pets, and checking in on N, who was still sound asleep) I got on my laptop and signed myself up for the Beach to Beacon with about 3,999 other people.
Consider me freaking out. From now until August 6th.
Consider me freaking out. From now until August 6th.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Only 30-something More To Go!
On Friday, I left work early and did this:
That would be most of my hair. Yes, it's a little creepy laying there like that, but not nearly as creepy as carrying it around in a plastic bag like I was afterwards!
And today, I put it in this:
Sorry about the terrible quality, but my phone is my only means of picture taking for the time being. My 8 or so inches of hair are in that envelope, ready to head to Ohio.
It's A LOT of hair off my head. I feel light, I feel free, and I also feel like I am missing a limb in some ways. Washing it, brushing it, putting product in it to tame it is SO. MUCH. EASIER. I swear it took 20 minutes off my ready time. This makes the husband and the child happy, I am sure. I am so happy I did this, for myself, and for someone out there who will hopefully reap the benefits of that long (slightly creepy) ponytail that is on it's way to Ohio.
Here is the end result, although this isn't really an accurate take on it since they straightened it after cutting it. I never straighten my hair unless some poor sap offers to do it for me. It's the only picture I have at the moment, so it will do. Once I have a better (and curly) one I will post it. So for now, here you go:
Cheers to Spring Hair and checking something else off my list!
That would be most of my hair. Yes, it's a little creepy laying there like that, but not nearly as creepy as carrying it around in a plastic bag like I was afterwards!
And today, I put it in this:
Sorry about the terrible quality, but my phone is my only means of picture taking for the time being. My 8 or so inches of hair are in that envelope, ready to head to Ohio.
It's A LOT of hair off my head. I feel light, I feel free, and I also feel like I am missing a limb in some ways. Washing it, brushing it, putting product in it to tame it is SO. MUCH. EASIER. I swear it took 20 minutes off my ready time. This makes the husband and the child happy, I am sure. I am so happy I did this, for myself, and for someone out there who will hopefully reap the benefits of that long (slightly creepy) ponytail that is on it's way to Ohio.
Here is the end result, although this isn't really an accurate take on it since they straightened it after cutting it. I never straighten my hair unless some poor sap offers to do it for me. It's the only picture I have at the moment, so it will do. Once I have a better (and curly) one I will post it. So for now, here you go:
Cheers to Spring Hair and checking something else off my list!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Oh yeah...and I also work.
I realized after my last post (about a simple list of priorities), that it might seem odd that I totally left off the list the place I spend 40 hours a week. Or maybe it seemed like I don't have one of those pesky little things called A Job. Well, I do. I have worked in the same place for 13 years. THIRTEEN YEARS. And still, I left it off the list. When I wrote that post last week I was also in the midst of one of the more stressful and exhausting weeks I have had at work in a long time. And for a plethora of different reasons (which I will not bore you with) those kinds of weeks are going to be the norm for a while at work. We are prepping for big changes at my place of employment, and right now, there isn't an end in sight. The days are all-consuming, I leave with my head spinning, I have moments during the day where all I want is to hide under or behind something, and I desperately need a vacation. Yet it doesn't make the list.
I am sure the reason I overlooked it in that moment was because I was having such a crazy week. I didn't have anymore space in my brain for it, and I wanted to think about all the other things in my life. Overall though, my job and I have a complicated relationship. It's not fair to say it's THIS job either, I don't think. At this job, I have many co-workers who have become amazing friends, they have been patient with me and accommodating when I spent most of my 20's taking classes, changing my mind about schools, schedules and careers, they have supported me through huge life changes, deaths, personal upheaval, planning a wedding, having a baby, I could go on and on. That's what happens when you have been working at the same place since you were 19. So, my issue with leaving my job off a list of priorities has little to do with the people here, or what kind of place it is to work. I mean, nobody is perfect, no job is perfect. There are days when those co-workers, who threw me a lovely baby shower, and gave me some of the most treasured gifts we received for N, make me want to run screaming from the building. That's life. That's people.
It has to do with the fact that there isn't a time in my life that I can remember ever being able to answer the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" or "What do you want to major in?" or even "What do you do?" seriously. I found it perplexing when I was a kid...what do you mean what do I want to be? Me. I want to be me, and no, I have no idea what career/job I want to slave away at for a large chunk of my life. What a ridiculous concept!
I just never found "that thing" that people speak of. A career/job/passion that fills me up and inspires me and makes me want to work there 40+ hours a week for the rest of my life. I have so much in my life that does inspire me and fill me with hope and passion, and makes me want to take part in it for the rest of my life, just not something that wants to pay me weekly and give me health insurance. For a long time this made me feel bad about myself. I felt like there was something wrong with me for not walking into Kindergarten when I was 5 and KNOWING that I wanted to be a doctor and that I would go to med school and someday become the Surgeon General. And the same goes for wanting to go off to college when I was 18 and study to be the most amazing middle school teacher on the planet. I have so much respect, and even envy the people who did, and who are still doing those things. I'm just not one of them. I still say I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I do love learning new things, and taking classes, and filling my brain, but again, none of that has made me feel like I want to make a career out of something in particular.
It's fascinating and frustrating to me that the first question people ask someone they have never met, or haven't seen in a long time, is "What do you do?". I wonder when people started being defined by what they do for work? Was it always this way? I am so many things, do so many things, and love so many things...why do people only care about where I work? Maybe we are too scared to ask anything else. Maybe anything else would be too personal. Or maybe you might learn something about a person that makes you uncomfortable. I don't know, but I, for one, think it's time we start asking each other something less tired and overused.
I am also well aware that without all the amazing people in the world who knew in Kindergarten that they wanted to go to med school, be a teacher, invent the next smart phone, cook amazing food, make beautiful music, or run the local food bank, that my life would be affected in a way I don't want to imagine. But I am sure all of those inspired people do and love loads of other things than their work. Maybe they would even identify with one of those other things more than what they "do". Maybe they would love it if someone asked.
My reality is that I need to work. I have a mortgage to pay, a child to raise, dinners to cook, a car to put gas in, vacations to take (soooon pleeeaaase) and health to maintain. Those aren't the ONLY reasons I work. I would choose to work in some capacity even if I didn't "need" it for all these other things. I work hard, I even take pride in what I do most days, but it's not where I find my inspiration on a daily basis. It's not where I fill myself up and think about solving the world's problems. It's not who I am.
Like I said, it's complicated.
I am sure the reason I overlooked it in that moment was because I was having such a crazy week. I didn't have anymore space in my brain for it, and I wanted to think about all the other things in my life. Overall though, my job and I have a complicated relationship. It's not fair to say it's THIS job either, I don't think. At this job, I have many co-workers who have become amazing friends, they have been patient with me and accommodating when I spent most of my 20's taking classes, changing my mind about schools, schedules and careers, they have supported me through huge life changes, deaths, personal upheaval, planning a wedding, having a baby, I could go on and on. That's what happens when you have been working at the same place since you were 19. So, my issue with leaving my job off a list of priorities has little to do with the people here, or what kind of place it is to work. I mean, nobody is perfect, no job is perfect. There are days when those co-workers, who threw me a lovely baby shower, and gave me some of the most treasured gifts we received for N, make me want to run screaming from the building. That's life. That's people.
It has to do with the fact that there isn't a time in my life that I can remember ever being able to answer the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" or "What do you want to major in?" or even "What do you do?" seriously. I found it perplexing when I was a kid...what do you mean what do I want to be? Me. I want to be me, and no, I have no idea what career/job I want to slave away at for a large chunk of my life. What a ridiculous concept!
I just never found "that thing" that people speak of. A career/job/passion that fills me up and inspires me and makes me want to work there 40+ hours a week for the rest of my life. I have so much in my life that does inspire me and fill me with hope and passion, and makes me want to take part in it for the rest of my life, just not something that wants to pay me weekly and give me health insurance. For a long time this made me feel bad about myself. I felt like there was something wrong with me for not walking into Kindergarten when I was 5 and KNOWING that I wanted to be a doctor and that I would go to med school and someday become the Surgeon General. And the same goes for wanting to go off to college when I was 18 and study to be the most amazing middle school teacher on the planet. I have so much respect, and even envy the people who did, and who are still doing those things. I'm just not one of them. I still say I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I do love learning new things, and taking classes, and filling my brain, but again, none of that has made me feel like I want to make a career out of something in particular.
It's fascinating and frustrating to me that the first question people ask someone they have never met, or haven't seen in a long time, is "What do you do?". I wonder when people started being defined by what they do for work? Was it always this way? I am so many things, do so many things, and love so many things...why do people only care about where I work? Maybe we are too scared to ask anything else. Maybe anything else would be too personal. Or maybe you might learn something about a person that makes you uncomfortable. I don't know, but I, for one, think it's time we start asking each other something less tired and overused.
I am also well aware that without all the amazing people in the world who knew in Kindergarten that they wanted to go to med school, be a teacher, invent the next smart phone, cook amazing food, make beautiful music, or run the local food bank, that my life would be affected in a way I don't want to imagine. But I am sure all of those inspired people do and love loads of other things than their work. Maybe they would even identify with one of those other things more than what they "do". Maybe they would love it if someone asked.
My reality is that I need to work. I have a mortgage to pay, a child to raise, dinners to cook, a car to put gas in, vacations to take (soooon pleeeaaase) and health to maintain. Those aren't the ONLY reasons I work. I would choose to work in some capacity even if I didn't "need" it for all these other things. I work hard, I even take pride in what I do most days, but it's not where I find my inspiration on a daily basis. It's not where I fill myself up and think about solving the world's problems. It's not who I am.
Like I said, it's complicated.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Priorities
As I have ranted about before, finding balance (and establishing priorities) seems to be one of those life struggles that everyone can relate to. My balancing act is always a work in progress and I have found lately, specifically through starting this blog and finding a voice for all of these things, that reading and writing about it is making those "things" I am balancing start to form a line. What I see as priorities are becoming more clear. It's not always a straight line, and the order of these things can change from minute to minute, but still, some form of organization is taking place.
One of my loveliest (and talkiest) friends pointed me to this blog a while ago: smallnotebook.org
I love it. For so many reasons. Mostly because she doesn't claim to have all the answers, but she works hard at simplifying her life, keeping her priorities in line, and then shares what she finds works for her and her family. Not one strategy for anything would work for everyone, but having the seed planted is what matters. That's exactly what she did for me in regards to this post. I was wandering around her blog and found this particular post about making a list of the things that she sees as her biggest priorities in order to keep her life in balance. It's a very basic list broken down into the categories that are most important to her. I love it because it reminds you that the list doesn't need to say "sweep the porch, scrub the bathtub, paint the house, and feed the cat". In your day to day, are all those things really a priority? No. Well, other than feeding the poor cat. Even if he is trying to kill me.
I really do need a reminder once in a while that it's okay to let some things go. I don't need to worry myself over the laundry that didn't all make into the drawers of my dresser over the weekend, or that you can't eat off my kitchen floor 7 days a week (or ever, actually). Those simply aren't my priorities on most days.
So, inspired by Small Notebook, here is my basic, but very important, list:
Child
- Meet her immediate/basic needs
- Play with her
- Show her love and patience
- Teach her
Husband
- Listen to him
- Spend unplugged time alone with him
- Show him love and patience
- Say thank you
Me
- Quiet time to read/write/nothing
- Exercise
- Pursue new/old interests
- Show myself the same love and patience
House
- Picking up
- Laundry
- Food Planning/shopping
- Dishes/Basic chores
Pets
- Meet basic needs
- Walk/play with them
- Litter box
- Vet visits
Friends/Family
- Communicate
- Plan time (even if it seems so far away)
- Offer assistance when possible
- Show them love and patience
There you have it. Maybe it seems too simple or too broad, but that's how it needs to be for me on days when I am running 100 miles an hour from one place to the next, my wheels and mind spinning. Taking a deep breath and remembering what is more important, what takes priority, and what will get me through the day with myself (and my loved ones) in tact, goes a very long way. And sometimes that deep breath, a glass of wine, and some form of chocolate will go even further.
What's on your list?
One of my loveliest (and talkiest) friends pointed me to this blog a while ago: smallnotebook.org
I love it. For so many reasons. Mostly because she doesn't claim to have all the answers, but she works hard at simplifying her life, keeping her priorities in line, and then shares what she finds works for her and her family. Not one strategy for anything would work for everyone, but having the seed planted is what matters. That's exactly what she did for me in regards to this post. I was wandering around her blog and found this particular post about making a list of the things that she sees as her biggest priorities in order to keep her life in balance. It's a very basic list broken down into the categories that are most important to her. I love it because it reminds you that the list doesn't need to say "sweep the porch, scrub the bathtub, paint the house, and feed the cat". In your day to day, are all those things really a priority? No. Well, other than feeding the poor cat. Even if he is trying to kill me.
I really do need a reminder once in a while that it's okay to let some things go. I don't need to worry myself over the laundry that didn't all make into the drawers of my dresser over the weekend, or that you can't eat off my kitchen floor 7 days a week (or ever, actually). Those simply aren't my priorities on most days.
So, inspired by Small Notebook, here is my basic, but very important, list:
Child
- Meet her immediate/basic needs
- Play with her
- Show her love and patience
- Teach her
Husband
- Listen to him
- Spend unplugged time alone with him
- Show him love and patience
- Say thank you
Me
- Quiet time to read/write/nothing
- Exercise
- Pursue new/old interests
- Show myself the same love and patience
House
- Picking up
- Laundry
- Food Planning/shopping
- Dishes/Basic chores
Pets
- Meet basic needs
- Walk/play with them
- Litter box
- Vet visits
Friends/Family
- Communicate
- Plan time (even if it seems so far away)
- Offer assistance when possible
- Show them love and patience
There you have it. Maybe it seems too simple or too broad, but that's how it needs to be for me on days when I am running 100 miles an hour from one place to the next, my wheels and mind spinning. Taking a deep breath and remembering what is more important, what takes priority, and what will get me through the day with myself (and my loved ones) in tact, goes a very long way. And sometimes that deep breath, a glass of wine, and some form of chocolate will go even further.
What's on your list?
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