Monday, April 25, 2011

My oh my...

Easter 2010



Easter 2011




"If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves." - Marie Edgeworth

Friday, April 22, 2011

Momness

I have had a short absence here because I was on a mini-vaca of sorts. I had a few days off work because N's daycare was closed for vacation week and I also had friends fly in to visit us from CO. This wasn't just any friend either. My oldest and bestest girlfriend came with her 15 month old son to stay with us for a few days. It was so good to spend time together and to see N and E interact and get to know one another.

Let me tell you though, our visits are NOT what they used to be. Kids, staying in at night, entertaining people other than ourselves all day long, fighting to get a word in with each other while the ankle biters make various demands for our attention; conversations about potty training, having more of these rugrats, and what life used to be. I am not complaining. I wouldn't change it for anything. Especially since she and I have been friends since the 1st grade and we have been through EVERY stage of life together, this is just our natural progression. Some things never change though, like how many bottles of wine we drank at the kitchen table after the little people were in bed, or how much we love to shop (and even forced N and E to come with us), how much we love to eat, and how much she means to me. There is nothing sweeter and more grounding than an old friend who knows everything about you...even though she uses the word "old" much too liberally when making reference to me. Especially since she is 3 days older than me. Pfft! 

I think it's pretty clear that I was reminded more than once this week that I am a Mom. I know that might sound silly (or delusional), but sometimes I have these moments where it is much more obvious to me that I am someones Mother. Yes, I have a little girl. I have been parenting her for 2 and a half years now (and if we count the 41 weeks I was carrying her around on the inside, then it's over 3 years) and I KNOW I am a mother. I just think when most of us hear that word we picture our own mothers. Or our friends mothers. Or (*gasp*) our grandmothers. It is hard for me to relate these images to myself. And not just because I have a fear of waking up one day and wanting to put on high-waisted jeans, a sweatshirt, and then go buy a mini-van.

I think it's because I always assumed these people, these oldER women, knew what the F they were doing. I assumed their only interest was me, and that they were put on this planet to irritate me, set ground rules, comfort me when I was hurt and heartbroken, and love me more than anyone. Believe me, my mother did ALL these things (and much, much more) but I also know now that my mother is a great many things, and my Mom is only one of them.

It's safe to say that one of my biggest fears before having N was that I would be put into some sort of dreaded box. A Mom Box. I have never been one for any kind of box, and watching so many people around me have children and then seemingly drop off the face of the planet was just plain scary. It was also unnerving for me to hear people say how important other "Mom Friends" were going to be...some people even implied these friends were the only ones you may end up having. Also knowing how all-consuming children (especially newborns) can be made me nervous. Super Husband and I went into this parenting game knowing we wanted to be the best parents we can be, but also knowing that we needed to be strong in our convictions that these "rules" just plain don't apply to us. And frankly, they shouldn't apply to anyone.

Like I have said before, this is something I am very proud that we have accomplished (so far). We work hard at feeding our interests outside of our family, putting our marriage on the top of the list, and being N's Mom and Dad. I think what I have realized recently is that because of my box fears (and bad jeans fears) is that I might dumb down what it is means to embrace my inner Mom. I brag about my kid, I love her more than I thought I could love anyone, I make decisions for her, and about her, each day. I set boundaries, I do infinite loads of laundry, and I comfort her when she is sick and heartbroken. It has nothing to do with how much I embrace the act of parenthood and her irreplaceable spot in my life. It has to do with me embracing what has changed about me. I will never be a box person, I will always be a great many things, just like my mother...but I am totally A Mom.

So I am vowing to myself to never buy bad jeans, cut my hair too short, or wear sweatpants to dinner, but I will learn to embrace my Momness...as long as it means I can still talk too loud and drink wine at the kitchen table until 1 AM with ALL my friends, then I am all for it.   

Monday, April 11, 2011

Community Supported Agriculture (CSA)

I mentioned a couple posts ago that we had decided to purchase a farmshare/CSA for the Summer and Fall. We have officially sent our sign up information and deposit to Summit Spring Farms and are thrilled to be supporting them and reaping the benefits of what a CSA share has to offer. The thought of fresh, organic, and LOCAL fruits, veggies, and herbs for 20 weeks out of the year makes me swoon. I already have ideas and recipes floating around my head and can't wait for our first pick-up. They have so much to offer, and there are endless possibilities.

If you would like to learn more, check out Local Harvest  for more information about farms in your area. I strongly encourage supporting your local farmers and local agriculture. It's an amazing way to support your entire community and eat well.

I am looking forward to writing more about this experience as we get started (our first pick-up is expected to be in June) and sharing with you what we are learning and, the most important, what we are eating!

 

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Grumpy, meet Spring

Yes. That's me. Grumptastic.


It's just one of those days when lots of smallish things turn my Party-Pants into Stabby-Pants. Or, more like my Sunny-Wednesday-Pants into Oh-It's-Just-Another-Day-at-Work-with-People-Who-Don't-Know-How-to-Say-Thanks-and-We-Want-to-Get-Away-for-a-Weekend-but-are-Having-Trouble-Finding-a-Sitter-and-Matching-Schedules-Pants. That's kind of a long name for pants though. Stabby covers it.


So, no, nothing big, but enough to make me sulk and do some glaring and think about all the things I dislike about today, this week, tomorrow, last week, whatever. And really, I hate this kind of mood. It makes me grumpy to be grumpy, because I know how good I have it. I know that there are WAY worse things in the world than bad schedules, long days at work, and people who complain when you bring them munchkins (although, people complaining about donut holes is on my "seriously depraved" list). I want to be the kind of person who can remind myself of that in each of those moments when you start feeling like you might blow a gasket, and then take a deep breath and go back to my shiny, happy, winning-smile personality. Okay, maybe that's overdoing it. A lot. But at least go back to my Sunny Wednesday Pants!


But alas, I just can't all the time. I suppose when I really think about it the people who can do that all the time would make me put my Stabby Pants back on anyway. What I can do though, is take a little while to wallow in my annoyance, and then vent about it over email to people who like the occasional munchkin as much as I do. And before I know it, the topic has turned to Spring. Then Summer. Then pictures of these amazing looking Margarita's with a beer doing a headstand in it. Oh my! Is that...sun I feel creeping in? Memorial Day camping is only 7 weeks away you say? And it's supposed to be 60 next week??


It's amazing what thoughts of warm weather, BBQ's with friends, playgrounds and picnics with N, lounging on the beach, and sleeping in a tent on the river can do for my mood. Winter is always long, and this one included mass amounts of snow and shoveling. By the time March rolls around I am usually starting to feel desperate to take my coat off and put my boots away. Add in the not-so-fun last few weeks we've had and I am more than ready to tell Winter exactly where it can go. I don't think I would ever trade those feelings for a place where the seasons are much more mild and blend into one another more easily though. I'm not sure the first day that I throw open the windows and get to wear ballet flats without socks would be nearly as sweet. And neither would email conversations with my friends about what we love about the coming months.   

So, I might still have a few co-workers who don't know a kind gesture when they see one, and I still don't have my coveted weekend away from everyday life, but I do have Spring. And Summer. And if I'm lucky, those margarita's with the head standing beer!